NEW Team Dorrity Comeback Portal — Put Connect or Die into practice. Enter Team Dorrity

The Peak-End Rule: Why the Way a Season Ends Shapes How You Remember It

Posted by:

|

On:

|

Think back on a vacation, a job or a school year. Chances are your memory of it isn’t an even average of every day. Certain moments stand out, especially the most intense point and the way it all ended. Researchers who study memory and judgment have a name for this pattern: the peak-end rule.

As spring gives way to summer, many seasons end at once: school years, sports seasons, projects, jobs and sometimes hard chapters of life. Understanding how endings shape memory can help you finish them well.

What the research found

In a series of studies beginning in the 1990s, psychologists asked people to go through experiences, some pleasant and some uncomfortable, and later to rate how they felt about them overall. A surprising result emerged. People’s overall memories were driven largely by two moments: the most intense point of the experience and its final moments. The length of the experience mattered far less than you might expect.

Advertisement

In some experiments, people even preferred to repeat a longer uncomfortable experience rather than a shorter one, as long as the longer one ended a little more gently. The ending colored the whole memory.

Why endings matter so much

Endings are the last thing we experience, so they are fresh when we file the memory away. They also tell us how the story turned out. A hard season that ends with a small win feels different in memory from one that ends with collapse, even if most of the days were the same.

That has a hopeful implication. You can’t always control what happens in the middle of a hard season. But you often have some influence over how you close it.

Finishing a season well

  • Plan the last week on purpose. Don’t let a school year, project or job simply run out. Decide how you want it to end.
  • Create a small high point at the close. A final celebration, a thank-you lunch or one last visit to a favorite place gives the memory a good ending.
  • Name what went well. Before moving on, list the wins, lessons and people that made the season worthwhile.
  • Close with gratitude. Thank the people who helped you through. It changes how you will remember them and the season.

For leaders and parents

The peak-end rule is also useful for anyone responsible for other people’s experiences. A team that finishes a brutal project with real recognition will remember it differently from one that simply moves on to the next deadline. A child who ends a tough school year with a celebration of effort, not just grades, carries a better story into summer.

The same idea applies to small things. End meetings with a clear, positive next step. End hard conversations with appreciation. End the day, when you can, with something good.

Advertisement

Writing a better ending

If you are finishing a difficult chapter right now, you don’t have to pretend it was easy. But consider giving it a deliberate ending: a conversation, a ritual, a small celebration or a written reflection on what you learned. How a season ends shapes the story you tell about it, and the story you tell shapes how you walk into the next one.

Live on Facebook
Chris Dorrity
Chris Dorrity6,600+ followers

New messages, real moments from the road, and the All Is Well Project. Follow along and say hello.

The book
Connect or Die book cover
Connect or Dieby Chris Dorrity with John Milton Fogg

The lessons behind everything Chris teaches. Start with three chapters, free.

Coaching

Turn the lessons into your comeback.

Talk it through free with the Team Dorrity coach, or work with Chris one-on-one in The Better Than Back Experience.

Today's Wisdom — Connect or Die

“Every interaction either builds a bridge or burns one. Choose the bridge.”

Explore the Wisdom Library →
TD Team DorrityOpen comeback portal

Designed and Built by Fenway Web.

Advertisement